You receive a text out of the blue and your brain’s rewards circuits light up like a fire – feeding your addiction and attachment even more. If you can relate to this, then I’m going to let you in on a secret. I even tried to justify the guy’s behavior and inaction that clearly showed his lack of interest, because hey, Sure.
We lower the bar, not just for us, but for all women. But how I choose to respond to bad behavior has changed. The more we let people get away with responding to our affections by acting aloof, nonchalant and inconsiderate, only to then reward them with sex, attention, gifts and nurture, the more we affirm that it’s perfectly okay to treat us less than we are worth. Kryptonite and that physical draw will likely never go away. And why should you invest your time and energy into someone who isn’t really that into you? If a guy likes you, he will contact you and try to see you. If he does not do this, he does not like you enough. If you’re wondering if the guy you’re crushing on likes you back, you can cut the grey area now because there is only one way to tell, and it doesn’t involve dissecting text messages or making a story out of every little sign.
Perhaps that laser focus attention he’s giving you makes you finally feel recognized for how special and unordinary you are. Any and all of the above are behaviors of a guy who only wants you for casual fun or sex. Can beginnings that start off as no-strings attached fun turn into something more meaningful? But that is the exception, not the majority of cases. Perhaps it feeds a deep insecurity that he’s choosing over everyone else who’s eyeing him. The following are examples of a guy who is either behaving poorly, or not that into you. If you are looking to romantically connect with another and/or wanting to create a relationship with someone, then listen up. If you are looking just to hook up and have no-strings attached fun, this article does not apply to you. But this guy’s approach is paced, intermittent and consistently inconsistent. Every time you accept poor behavior, or tolerate disrespect and inconsideration, you send a signal to the universe and to your own self-worth that you aren’t deserving of respect. This shit eats your self-esteem, and if you don’t stop the cycle, you will hurt and you will harden, and that anxiety build up will harm your relationships with the good guys ahead.